So I happened to come across a blog post by Domina Jen that has great synergy with my last couple of posts. You can find the post at the following link (I really need to learn how to embed links): https://dominajen.com/why-submissive-men/ . I highly highly suggest that you read her thoughts in their entirety as I found them to be absolutely brilliant–she articulated what she values about submissive men in a few well written paragraphs. And she totally gets where I am coming from. I wish I had read something like this 20 years ago as it would have saved me a lot of pain. I liked it to much, I wanted to highlight and comment on a few of her thoughts.
There’s nothing sexier than the way his voice changes, the way it gets higher the more I push him. That little whine that all submissive men seem to know how to do is my favorite sound in the world. Once I hear that sound, I know I’ve got him in the palm of my hand.
I had to laugh at this because I thought it just me that has this little whimper/moan thing going on. When my goddess is in control it’s all I can really do–most of the time words are very difficult to come by unless she specifically forces me to answer. I love it because I’m normally quite verbose but I truly do not have the capability for articulate speech in the moment so it comes out as little moans of both pleasure and pain.
I love being able to control him, even from a distance. A well-placed text message can hit him like a hammer to the chest, a stark reminder of what he is and who he belongs to.
I think Domina Jen did a great job highlighting what I attemped to say in previous posts — little things that make it clear who is the owner and who is the property go a loooooong way.
He gives her his heart, sure. Everyone in a relationship does that. But a submissive man takes it so much further. He gives his Owner his body, to use however she wants. He gives up his bodily autonomy, offering himself to her (a precious gift that is not always easy to give), enduring everything she puts him through, tolerating the things he doesn’t like, and doesn’t want, because her happiness is more important than his, and because his body is a gift he’s given to her.
He gives her his mind, the most courageous thing a human being can do, completely opening up, letting her explore him, despite his fear, despite the fact that such a level of vulnerability terrifies him. He lets her in, he lets her see the parts of himself he doesn’t like, the parts he wishes were different, the parts he’s afraid of. He lets her see him at his worst, at his lowest, at his weakest. He lets her mold him, guide him, lets her create in him a perfect union of his strengths and hers.
A submissive man creates, with his Owner, a level of intimacy far and beyond anything else imaginable. He gives her all of himself, he offers his whole being to her, he lets her use him, lets her inside him. He submits to her desire, her lust, willingly and eagerly becoming the instrument through which she experiences her bliss.
He becomes her release. Through him, through using his body and manipulating his mind, she is able to shrug off the daily stresses and anxieties that cling to her. By submitting to her, by offering himself to her, he allows her to express herself, to explore herself, to learn about who she is.
A submissive man yields to the guidance, the influence, the control of his Owner completely. He gives himself wholly to her. It’s not a gift that is given just once. It’s a gift he actively gives every day, with every decision he makes. And with that gift, he fills a hole in her that only he can fill. His submission strengthens her, just as her leadership strengthens him.
There’s a lot more in the actual piece (go read it!). I’m honestly just blown away by how this so accurately describes everything I’ve ever desired. I want that level of intimacy. I want to give myself that completely to Her, as I believe She totally and completely deserves it. I hope I am the instrument through which She experiences Her bliss. I want to be the thing that becomes her release from stress. I can only hope that I fill a hole in Her that only I can fill. I pray my submission strengthens her, allows her to explore herself freely with no reservations. To learn who she is and to be accept it and be proud of it.
I chose her because there’s just something so special about her. We were incredibly close as friends for years. There’s this spark, this divine spark in her that is just so magnetic. It calls to me yet at the same time it terrifies me because it’s Charybdis only it goes on ad infinitum. When you think about it, the song of the sirens must have been really fuckin’ intense, just as these desires for my goddess are ineluctable to me. But it’s all true and it’s exactly what I want for the rest of my life. My goal is to give her as much of me as she is comfortable with taking at whatever pace she chooses.
Domina Jen, I want to thank you for taking the time to write something so perfectly and eloquently. It’s truly a work of art and wonderful to read. However long it may have taken you to write, it was worth every second. (Last time, please read it. And once again, I remain shocked and amazed that there are other folks out there who understand, who get it. I’ve always known that “there is nothing new under the sun”, yet I continue to find it to be proven true on a daily basis. Like I said, how much anguish and confusion might I have avoided if I knew that women existed who wanted submissive men, who actually value submissive men.