As I mentioned in a previous post, I believe that in order to never have to worry about the fidelity of a submissive partner, all a dominant woman needs to do is to remain diligent that the sub’s needs (unique to that sub) are met. Even better, in my opinion and based on some of the links I shared, the reward for this appears to be immense — having your every whim and demand catered to with no expectation of reciprocity or need for concern for the other. Literally living like royalty. If I were a woman and had any hint of a dominant side, my goodness, I would be all over this. If nothing else, it would be fun to experiment and see just how true the hypothesis is, but then as an analytical guy, I’m a huge fan of hypothesis testing. I would continually try to push the envelope just to see the reaction, to see what really works and what doesn’t. Honestly, it seems almost too good to be true, provided you actually enjoy wielding the power and are willing to accept and learn the dynamic. But that’s just my perspective.
Now my belief is that She does enjoy it—for She is the type of person who will absolutely not do something She doesn’t want to do. Full stop. There is no talking her into something She’s not interested in. Which is a characteristic I adore because I don’t worry about her doing something she doesn’t like just to make me happy. I believe that she loves seeing the absolute frantic look in my eyes and my inability to speak properly when I’m completely enraptured with her. I know that she loves seeing me squirm and writhe around in pain she’s causing. She likes causing pain more than I like receiving it. But what’s really interesting is that I have grown to crave it precisely because she likes it so much. She’s always liked fucking with my nipples and biting my lips when we kiss. I went from not liking it to wanting more and more of it. I now completely view my nipples and my mouth as her plaything and I become immediately aroused when she deigns to use them for her enjoyment. It still hurts and I moan each time but I fucking love it. And she knows that too because my body betrays me.
I do think there’s a huge learning curve to this type of a relationship, especially when it’s never been part of your thought process before. When you’ve been taught explictly and implicitly that women are supposed to be loving and do everything for their man and be demure and respectful as she largely has, I feel it must create a lot of cognitive dissonance for Her to hear that She can be the most satisfied woman on the planet by being bossy, aggressive and demanding and generally behaving like She’s above me. It must read like one of those “One simple trick doctors don’t want you to know” fake articles. Plus, it flies directly in the face of the worldview drummed into both men and women from the beginning of time. I said all that to say this: doing things differently is very challenging and it doesn’t happen overnight. I am impressed with Her ability to adapt — every day she gets just a little more comfortable. The best part is, she brings her own creativity to bear. I’m tingling just thinking about life once she fully recognizes and ultimately embraces her power and control over me.
The beauty of this is that it’s not a full time job for Her–not even remotely. It has been my experience that the little things have tremendous and greatly disproportional value to the time spent. I don’t fully understand it, but I’ll give some examples to help coalesce my thoughts. Once we were in an empty elevator and she bent over a little, arched her back and told me to kiss her ass. So I immediately dropped to my knees and did. Another time, we were just sitting on the couch and she casually wiped her boogers on the back of my hand. No fanfare, no theatrics, just a matter-of-fact action. Lastly, and this cuts a little close to the quick but fuck it, I have been training myself to drink her piss on demand. The other day I came over and after kissing her good morning, I mentioned that I might have coffee breath. And her absolutely fabulous response was “Well, in a minute you’ll have pee breath.” Which was, as it turns out, a completely accurate statement.
As I said, I’m not really sure why these little things embed themselves in my brain so vividly, but they do. My guess is that I will remember each of these little vignettes even when I’m old and gray. If forced to opine, I would guess it is because it meets my needs on multiple levels. First, it is a reminder that I am under Her thumb and that I am blissful that she is the one in control. You don’t accept someone casually wiping snot on you or pissing in your mouth if you don’t fully accept, desire, crave, and adore Her and Her dominance and want more and more and more of it.
Secondly, it serves to keep my natural arrogance in check. It’s hard to be arrogant when someone tells you to kiss their ass and you obey. For me, this is of critical importance since I tend to have a big ego and can easily become prideful, and I’m a crappy person when I’m full of pride. I feel like Marcellus Wallace in Pulp Fiction — “feel that sting big boy? that’s pride fucking with you. Gotta fight through that shit!” I think these little reminders do calm my mind and help me “fight through that shit” because I really do not care for who I am when I’m prideful (since I know that I truly know and am nothing).
Lastly, it’s a reminder that our dynamic is real and not just play. I need it to be real real real. I want to be the catalyst that cultivates her creativity and cruelty and dominance. Because she is absolutely fucking breathtaking–a goddess in every sense of the word–body, soul, and spirit. I want her to accept it herself, to live it and breathe it daily; to see herself through my eyes and, in doing so, force the world to see her as I do. Further, the “realer” it is the more submissive I can become and the more I can pour all of myself into Her. And the more I pour myself into her the “realer” it becomes. It’s a virtuous circle.
All that aside, we are still growing into this and taking our time, feeling our way around, seeing what works for us. It’s our relationship, our dynamic, no one else’s. Just because other dom/sub couples do this, that or the other doesn’t mean we have to. There’s no rules save one, but rather just fun things with which to experiment and become more and more self-actualized together. And the one rule we have is to be unflinchingly and unapologetically open and honest with each other.
I sincerely have no idea where we will end up, if it will ever reach a steady state. I suspect that where we go will ultimately be dictated by Her since I’m pretty sure I’d eventually be willing to do whatever she demanded (no limits, remember). But I am very happy to live each day as if it was all brand new, just enjoying the time I spend with Her, whether sitting on the couch talking or taking a walk in the park. One thing, however, is certain to me — Her imposing Her will and desires on me is an astoundingly compelling aphrodisiac. The more whimsical, creative, or (seemingly) heartless the demand, the more effective it is.
I can’t wait to see where we are in the months and years to come. Regardless, I have no doubt that it will be extraordinary. It couldn’t be otherwise if I’m with Her.