This is the second portion of a two part post. The first may be found at: https://trusubb.com/my-brand-of-submission-part-1
Axiom 4: I have (virtually) no limits
This goes back to the immense and complete trust I have in Her. I truly believe that if there is something she wanted to do to me (or have me do to her), I would do it unquestioningly. But that’s because I know she would never do anything that would damage me. She might superficially hurt me physically, use me in disgusting and degrading ways, punish me in creative and humiliating ways for something I did (or perhaps just because it amuses Her to do so), but none of those things are damaging. Quite the opposite, in fact, each of those feeds my soul and serves to strengthen my devotion to her. My dream, my desire is to get to the point where I am meeting her needs before she even knows she has them.
Corollary: I want the limits I do have to be stretched for her enjoyment
Our relationship is not about what I want. It’s not some personal porn scene acted out on my behalf. As kinky as I feel I am with the fantasies I have, when She demands something I don’t expect or necessarily want to do, it blows those fantasies out of the water because I lose control. And I hunger for that helpless, entranced, blissful feeling.
As an example, I am not into forced feminization. I have no particular desire to dress or be dressed as a woman. It’s not something that appeals to me personally. But is it a limit? Nope. If it was something that She told me to do I would obey without question. And I’m sure it would arouse the hell out of me, but especially (maybe only?) if it made Her tingle.
Axiom 5: I know my worth
I have a significant ego. I know that I am highly intelligent. I know that I am very successful and a good provider. I believe that I’m a good, loving father and a generally kind person who tries to be friendly and nice to everyone. I strive to be the best at everything I undertake–including my submission. I want to be the best most devoted sub out there: I want to be the 0.01 percent. But I think it is precisely these traits that makes my gift of servitude valuable. I’m not pathetic, by all accounts I’m a “catch”, yet my goddess can use me in any and every way her moods and whims fancy. Talk about power. It’s so mentally delicious to me and even writing about it puts me in a blissful place.
Axiom 6: All I know is that I know nothing
Said differently, I have a lot to learn (and She does as well). About myself. About her. About my limits. About my fantasies. About my strength. I find it fascinating that my goddess never really gave any thought to this before. I have such a head start on her as I’ve been thinking, dreaming, and fantasizing about this for more than 3 decades. But in spite of that head start, She is incredibly creative and does not judge me even as I share some of my most perverse desires. I still have trouble sharing some things out of what most likely is a deep rooted fear of rejection. But I persist in sharing nevertheless.
Even though she is a babe in the woods so to speak, I see the fire of domination so strongly in her, and it is incredibly erotic and sexy beyond belief. The best part is that it is completely mixed with love — even in dominating she is giving and nourishing. It’s just who She is and what makes Her a unicorn even among unicorns. Even more amazing is that she was indoctrinated at a young age that a woman was supposed to take care of the home and take care of the man, and most of her past relationships had precisely that dynamic. I’m trying to show her that I’m not like other men. She still worries that she’s going to hurt me or that she’s going to go too far (despite and in complete opposition to axiom 4). But I have no doubt that as we continue to grow together and explore together that those guilty feelings will fall away.
And if I’m completely forthright, it scares me a little bit what our dynamic will be, say three years from now. But that fear is not a bad thing — all of the good rides at the theme park are a little bit scary. That tiny little drop in the tummy is so very exciting. It’s not a fear of being hurt or rejected or alone — it’s a fear of the unknown. It’s a fear that you might be led someplace that you didn’t know you wanted to go. Of course, when you’ve done something you didn’t think you could do the feeling of euphoria is extraordinary. So yes, while there’s a tiny bit of fear, it’s a wonderful anticipatory feeling and I wouldn’t want it any other way. That tiny little twinge keeps me in awe of Her and makes me want to give even more of myself.
We are on a great adventure and I couldn’t be more content.